Adoption Basics for LGBTQ+ Parents in New York
Adoption Planning and Process Tips for Queer Parents in NYC
If you are an LGBTQ+ parent or prospective parent in Brooklyn, Manhattan, or elsewhere in NYC, you may be wondering where adoption fits into your family’s story. Maybe you are building your family through adoption itself. Maybe you are already parenting a child and want the law to recognize what your family already knows. Either way, adoption is a court process, and knowing the basics before you start can make it feel less intimidating.
Who Can Adopt in New York?
New York’s adoption statute allows an adult individual, or spouses together, to adopt. In 1995, in Matter of Jacob, New York’s highest court also held that the statute permits the unmarried partner of a child’s parent, including a same-sex partner, to adopt that child as a second parent, without terminating the existing parent’s rights.
Since then, LGBTQ+ individuals and couples have been able to adopt in New York, and many families have used adoption to establish legal parentage for both parents.
Common Types of Adoption for LGBTQ+ Families
There is more than one path to adoption, and the right one depends on how your family is formed:
Second-parent adoption, where a non-biological, non-gestational, or otherwise legally unconnected parent adopts a child who already has one legal parent;
Stepparent adoption, where the spouse of a child’s legal parent adopts that child;
Joint adoption, where a couple adopts a child together;
Agency or foster-care adoption, where a child is placed through a licensed agency or the foster care system; and
Private (sometimes called independent) adoption, where a birth parent places a child directly with adoptive parents under court supervision.
Each of these has its own requirements, timelines, and documents. If you are not sure which one applies to your family, that is a good first question to bring to an attorney.
The General Process
Every adoption is different, and requirements vary by the type of adoption, the court, and the county, but most follow a similar general shape:
Consult with an attorney and choose your route. This is when you decide which type of adoption fits your family, and, for families formed through a donor or surrogate, whether adoption or another option, like a judgment of parentage, makes the most sense;
Gather your documents. This is the most time-consuming part of the process. Necessary documents often include:
Identification;
Your child’s birth certificate;
Marriage records if applicable;
Affidavits related to employment and financial status;
Any donor or surrogacy agreements;
Letters from an inseminating doctor or sperm bank if applicable;
Consent forms for the adoption;
A history of addresses for both parents for the last several years; and
Medical records for the child and both parents
Your attorney will also be required to submit a number of forms, including an affidavit, proposed orders, and a cover sheet, among others.
3. File a petition with the court. Adoptions in New York can be filed in Family Court or Surrogate’s Court;
4. Wait for notice from the court regarding additional required documents, if any. Depending on your situation, the county, and other factors, this may involve additional consent forms or affidavits, letters of reference, or documentation related to the donor or surrogate, if applicable;
5. Complete any required evaluations and background checks. This may include a home study, which is an interview process with a social worker, along with criminal background clearances and reference letters;
6. Attend a court appearance. Many families find that this is a brief, celebratory hearing, and some courts allow it to be held virtually; and
7. Receive your final order of adoption. Once granted, the order establishes your legal relationship to your child, and an amended birth certificate may be issued reflecting both parents.
Is the Process the Same in Every Borough or County?
Actually, no. While New York has a unified court system, many clerks in different counties have different ways of doing things, which is common across many areas of law. For example, in Brooklyn (Kings County), the most common court for second-parent adoptions is the Family Court, whereas in Manhattan (New York County), the most common court for these adoptions is the Surrogate’s Court. In our experience, there is also a less stringent requirement in Manhattan than Brooklyn for the home-study.
Because adoptions can be filed in more than one type of court, attorneys like Lindsey Rubinstein who regularly work with the courts in your county can tell you what to expect and which court makes the most sense for your family.
Planning Tips for Queer Parents in NYC
A little planning ahead makes the process smoother:
Start early. If you are using a donor or surrogate, having the right agreements in place before conception is much easier than sorting things out afterward;
Keep your documents organized in one place, including birth certificates, marriage licenses, agreements, and any prior court orders;
Budget for costs beyond attorney’s fees, which can include court filing fees and fees for a social worker’s home study report;
Think about travel and relocation. A court order of adoption is widely considered one of the strongest ways to protect your parental rights if your family moves or travels to another state; and
Update your estate planning documents after your adoption is final, so that your wills, healthcare proxies, and guardian nominations reflect your family as it is today.
Frequently Asked Questions
If Both of Us Are on the Birth Certificate, Do We Still Need an Adoption?
Many LGBTQ+ families still choose to obtain a court order, either an adoption or a judgment of parentage, even when both parents are listed on the birth certificate, because a birth certificate alone may not be recognized everywhere. Which route is the best fit depends on how your child was conceived or born, where you live, and where you might live in the future. You can read more about these options on our LGBTQ+ parentage page.
Do We Have to Be Married to Adopt?
No. New York permits a single adult to adopt, and since Matter of Jacob, unmarried partners, including same-sex partners, can adopt as second parents. The specific route that fits your family depends on your circumstances.
What Is a Home Study, and Will We Need One?
A home study is an evaluation, usually conducted by a social worker, in which your family is interviewed and a report is prepared for the court. Whether one is required, and how detailed it is, depends on the type of adoption and the court. If one is required, it can feel intrusive, which is one more reason to work with an attorney who is familiar with LGBTQ+ families and knows how to prepare you for it.
Expand Law and attorneys who regularly practice in this space can connect you with social workers who have been working with queer families for many years.
How Long Does an Adoption Take?
The timeline depends on the type of adoption, the court, and how quickly the required documents, background checks, and any evaluation are completed. Your attorney can give you a realistic estimate for your court and your situation. In our experience, many families find that the process is complete in under one year, although timelines vary across all families and all situations, and an exact timeline does not exist.
Will Our New York Adoption Be Recognized in Other States?
Generally, a valid court order of adoption is entitled to recognition in other states. We explain how this works in our post on second-parent adoption in New York.
Expand Law works with Brooklyn and NYC families at every stage of building a family, from planning through finalizing parentage. If you are considering adoption, Lindsey Rubinstein can walk you through your options and help you choose the right path, and once your adoption is final, Expand Law can help update your estate planning documents to protect your family.
Expand Law maintains an active blog which provides general legal information. Under no circumstances shall reviewing this blog constitute legal advice. If you are looking for legal advice specific to your issue, please contact lindsey@expandlawpllc.com for a free consultation.
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